May 17, 2005

Let the Students Decide

My son starts high school next year and we went to Orientation last week. The principal highlighted some of the courses to be offered. This will be an outstanding selection of thought-provoking, open-minded material! We are enthused about the variety of ideas that our son will be exposed to. It's called "thinking."

Astronomy - "Empirical Zodiacalism 101" - No, no, no. It's not astrology. Please. This is a strictly scientific interpretation of the measurable impact of planetary bodies on terrestrial biorhythms, with special focus on imminent human actions and upcoming stock prices.

Chemistry - "Alchemy 666" - Using the latest principles of Theodoric of York, the students will explore the wonders of transubstantiation. Woot! They are going to have a special lab on converting lead into gold.

Math - "Numerology" - None of those BORING theorems and formulas. This one will grab their attention. Will include a module on "Pyramid Power," thus satisfying the state geometry requirement.

English - "KJV Only!" none of those "other" evil translations. Only the King James version. Of course.

History - "All 6,000 years since Creation" When we asked if this wasn't a little ambitious, the teacher admitted that he might give a little less emphasis to events since the first century A.D., since all the "important stuff" (as he called it) had already been written by then.

Modern History - "Teaching the Controversy" - Students will explore in-depth the competing theories of the so-called "Holocaust." Items to be studied include 1930's census data of Jews, the constraints of passenger rail traffic in the Third Reich, and the paradox of "eye-witness" testimony from camps where supposedly 100% of inmates were killed.

Biology - "Intelligent Design" - We learned through the parent grapevine, that this one is an easy 'A.' Answer all test questions with "Because God wanted it that way," and you're looking at a perfect score.

Phys Ed - "Donuts" - In light of those silly government scientists not knowing whether excess weight helps or hurts longevity, the gym teacher is going to dispense with all that "exercise" and '"fitness" stuff. We're talking donuts. Yummy!

Music - "The Think System" of the noted trombonist Professor Henry Hill will be the backbone of this course.

Pre-Med (Elective) - "Hemostatic Pressure Relief" - No, the teacher made it clear, this is not "bleeding," but a modern, more scientific practice, focusing on new developments learned since treating HIV positive patients in the late 1980's.

The best part is .. if this curriculum is all wrong ... the kids can figure it out for themselves!! Put it all out there and let the students decide.

Read the NY Times take on all this: "The Evolution of Creationism"

More from Left2Right.


Posted by Stephen at May 17, 2005 07:12 PM | TraktorBack (7)
The LLama Butchers linked with And he wonders why I skipped "Jawapalooza"? on Jun 10
Respectful Insolence linked with The Commissar gets it right on May 24
Scribal Terror linked with Among the Educationoids on May 23
Pull On Superman's Cape linked with Diktat summons Simplicio on May 23
The World Wide Rant - v3.0 linked with How Do I Sign Fiona Up? on May 20
Right Wing Nut House linked with QUICK HITS on May 19
INDC Journal linked with Quick Links on May 19
Confessions

What, no course on shamanistic ritual? Nothing on organic hydroponic hemp farming? Where do they get off calling themseleves progressives I wonder?

Extracted from: Improbulus Maximus at May 18, 2005 08:31 AM

Stephen, at the risk of sounding like a sycophant I have to say that once again you impress with your creativity.

Extracted from: Jack at May 18, 2005 10:10 AM
Music - "The Think System" of the noted trombonist Professor Henry Hill will be the backbone of this course.

Don't how how he does it, but he lives like a king. And when the man dances, certainly boys, the piper pays him!

Extracted from: pennywit at May 18, 2005 11:14 AM

Only studying the "ancient" history of dead white males? Why aren't the kids studying the glorious, proletariat-centric revolutions of Castro and Pol Pot, contrasting them with the reactionary patriarchal so-called "revolution" of the imperialistic USA?

And no discussion of the Ptolemaic solar system?

Extracted from: RobertJ at May 18, 2005 12:32 PM

It seems like you have an axe to grind, Commissar.

Extracted from: MTW at May 18, 2005 09:25 PM

You know what a cool course would be? Augury. That's where you divine the future by reading the entrails of sacrificed animals, as practiced by the ancient Romans and others, so it's a part of Western cultural history. If they have to teach intelligent design, they should teach augury. After all, as the Christians say, teaching alternatives is not about Christianity, but about objectively searching for the "truth", whatever that is. I'm willing to bet that a prediction made from a pile of chicken innards has as good a chance of being accurate as the bible.

Extracted from: Improbulus_Maximus at May 19, 2005 08:28 AM

Comrade, You need to take a spelling course first. "transsubtantiation" ?

Extracted from: nihil obstat at May 19, 2005 10:50 PM

Nihil - what a fabulous rejoinder! Why, you've totally refuted the entire point of his post!

WELL DONE! And with so few words!

Verily, we are in the presence of a master!

Extracted from: andy at May 20, 2005 10:16 AM

Sadly, this sounds like the curricula at our local high school.

Extracted from: EdWonk at May 21, 2005 04:07 AM

Excellent post!

Extracted from: Orac at May 24, 2005 11:46 AM