The Politburo Diktat

Best. Idea. Ever!

I am SOOOO in for this!

So, if we want Blair, we should push the Tories; and if we want the Tories, we should push Blair. Maybe, to make this thing work, we should figure out what's the best play for the backfire effect, not that that's ever happened before...

No, they will be smart enough to know that if we push for Blair that we are trying to annoy them and we really want them to vote Tory. So they will then vote Blair as revenge. So if we want Blair we should push for Blair. But then again they might figure out what I have just said. So maybe we should push for Tory if we want Blair. Not sure really.

Tell 'em to make a write-in vote for Lady Thatcher.

Not sure if that's possible on their ballots, but wot' the hell.

SMG

Or maybe if we push Blair, they will think we want the Tories and are trying to get them to vote Liberal Democrat to split votes so they will in the end vote for the Welsh Separtists.

Don't forget to mention dental hygiene.

JUST FORGET THE WHOLE THING. ONE CAN NEVER PREDICT THE IMPACT OF SUCH A STRATEGY. LET THE BRITS DO WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO DO. IT'S THEIR BOSS, NOT OURS.

Richard.... I think it's intended as a bit of a sarcastic joke.... try reading it in that light.

Spoken like a true man without the faintest trace of a sense of humor.

(Whoosh! RIGHT over his head!)

Perhaps we should tell them to vote Liberal Democrat, but they might think we're being sarcastic and vote lib dem anyway just to annoy us, which would result in a Howard victory and then they'll be angry with us because they'll think we really wanted a Howard victory all along because we out here in the states are nothing but a bunch of stupid, conservative, gay-hating, inbred rednecks -- even those of us who are from Pennsylvania.

I think our emails would be more effective if they were completely written in capital letters. Does anyone know the HTML code for red double-underlines?

I was wondering when someone was gonna get around and bitch-slap the Guardian for their idiocy last Fall.

It's no mystery who to "promote". Just take the side of the Guardian's editors.

BTW, it would also help out our friends in the French government if we could procur a list of likely French voters. This way we Americans could let them know how vital it is that they support the EU Constitution vote.

Perhaps the letters should go something like this:

Dear Welsh Voter,

During the last Presidential election in the United States, the Guardian asked their UK readers to write letters to American voters in swing counties in swing states to encourage those voters to vote either for John Kerry or against George Bush. As American voters, we think that the Guardian's idea was so revolutionary that we could not resist writing you to tell you that we could not care less who you vote for in your upcoming elections and furthermore we don't think that it is any of our damn business if you vote conservative, labor, liberal democrat, Mao Tse Tung, or Tarzan of the Apes. We are sure you will vote for the PM that you think is best for you. So God Bless you and whoever you chose to vote for. I would like to ask you to consider entertaining the possibility of doing us one small favor. That favor would be to send a copy of my letter to the editors of the Guardian. I would never ask you to cancel your subscription to the Guardian, but if you are a subscriber and you chose on your own to cancel your subscription, I will raise a toast in your absence and buy the next Welshman I meet a drink of his or her choosing.

Thank You,

Sean
Red State, USA

I think our emails would be more effective if they were completely written in capital letters. Does anyone know the HTML code for red double-underlines?

Nah, we can do better than that- does anyone else remember the -blink- tag?

Seriously though, I'd be asking them to please consider voting for whatever candidate would give the typical Guardian reader heartburn.

Can we Mexicans also take part? Please? WE are also affected by the UK's policies. A LOT. This is our chance, at last, to let Mother England know what the children of Spain think. We'll invite them heartly to vote for Eamon de Valera. Yeah! That's smart. Limmerick is the county to attack. :) Let us in, please. Some addy in Cork will do.

Pure genius, Sean. That's pure genius. Absolutely perfect.

"... we think that the Guardian's idea was so revolutionary that we could not resist writing you to tell you that we could not care less who you vote for in your upcoming elections and furthermore we don't think that it is any of our damn business ..."

* salute *

There's no point. Any votes we actually make will be 'adjusted' by teams of election officials in darkened warehouses in Birmingham. The sheer number of postal votes this time round leads me to suspect that the Democrats have been advising Blair on how to run a 'Carter-approved' election.....sob! Bring back Maggie and her handbag!

These are the worst comments I have ever seen. People >>>> read this garbage >>>> So, if we want Blair, we should push the Tories; and if we want the Tories, we should push Blair. Hey, take it from an American, Blair will win.
Zip up your man diapers and admit defeat.Howard won, Bush won, and Blair will win.
PS.....never mention France.....leaves a taste in my mouth,Thanks, Brutelogic....... LEARN DEFEAT!

Death is no excuse. Nixon in oh-8!

Considering the hash Britons have made of their country under elected governments, wouldn't it be best to suggest that they all refrain from voting? Let the Queen rule as well as reign. ;^)

YOU ARE NOT EXPECTING TO HEAR BUT MY NAME IS DANIAL OKABA AND I AM INTERESTING IN GETTING THIS MAILING LIST YOU SPEAK OF.
I HAVE GREAT BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY WHEREIN MY DEAR FATHER WHO IN CHARGE OF OIL DEVELPMENT IN NIGERIA HAS LEFT ME SOME $35MILLION AND I NEED TRUSTWORTHY BUSINESS PARTNER AND HAVE NO BEEN SUCCESSFUL IN FINDING.
PLEASE RESPOND TO MY EMAIL ADDRESS AS I NEED FURTHER MAILINGS TO TRANSFER SUMS OF MONEY
THANK YOU

If Danial Okaba is serious about wanting an invesment partner, please get in touch of me @ Daily Kos. This is a sincere offer.

I have been alerted to this despicable stunt by a news item on the BBC - a free and independent media outlet of the type quite unknown to you ignorant American fascists.

I just wanted to say that the Welsh people will resist your corrupt blandishments and all similar Yankee imperliastic propaganda.

I am fully expecting that you Americans will now start preparations to invade Wales. But you will be resisted.

We are a free people and have never been conquered.

(Any resemblance of the TPD Monmouth County campaign to this is purely co-incidental.

Yes, Commissar; that idea does scream koeenkydeenky.

Very good, very good indeed.
Two minor quibbles (I know you’ve said County because of the Guardian Operation Clark County)...it’s Monmouthshire, no Monmouth County, and the electoral districts are constituencies, not counties.
My advice would be to vote Tory. If Howard gets into No 10, Polly Toynbee’s head will explode, and as one Observer journalist told me, that’s a noble goal.

очень хорошо!

Dear Uropean,

I understand that you are having an election in May, and I would just like to thank you for voting. I am an American, and although I cannot vote in your election, would like to let you know that we are watching your election closely. I would like to strongly encourage you to vote for whichever local candidate supports forming a European superstate. You see, over here in America it is very difficult to keep track of all your little countries in Europe. Sure, we may be able to find France or Germany or Italy on a map, but apparently you guys have lots of new little countries like Austria, Welsh, I rish, and there is plenty of confusion over whether you guys are called England, the UK, or Brittain. I think to further improve our country's relations, a move to get rid of all your confusing little country names, and just be the EU would be helpful.

You may be saying, "Why should we do all the work", fear not fearless European. There is a small country just north of New York called Canada. It used to famous for a game called hockey. It is in the process of joining the US as the 51st state. Additionally, we will soon be allowing Mexico, a country of over 1 billion people that all work harder than us lazy americans have already been granted US citizenship, and although they are unlikely to join the US formally, our government fully supports equal protection for all Mexicans.

Cheers,
An interested American

John Kerry was bin Laden's candidate in the U.S.; Latham was bin Laden's candidate against Howard in Australia; and Zapatero was bin Laden's candidate against Aznar.

So, who is bin Laden's candidate in the UK election? Galloway? He's not running for PM. Besides which, I think he's Saddam's boy. This is a puzzlement.

Dear Mr. Editor,

I was over at the God the Father Holy Thunder Chapel in Transylvania County for our Friday nite prayer meeting last nite, and Reverend Klyde preached awhile to the congregation about this Righteous Voter Outreach thing us Holy Thunderers have got up with fellow Christian Democrats and Bush supporters around the world (the reverend said yall was really Anglicans, but he was just joking I think).

Now, I was there mostly for holy-rolling and to practice conversational Aramaic, so I didn't think much about it until after the second singing of "Onward Christian Soldier" and I took the Communion. The reverend handed me my helpings of His flesh and blood (don't know how yall do it what with St. Patrick and all, but Holy Thunder uses baby vipers for His flesh and those little plastic pill cups full of Mogen David with just a tetch of arsenic for an extra kick in His blood).

Anyways, those dang copperheads get sorta ornery about now (late April is rutting season for yearling serpents in these parts), so's whilst I was chugging down my cup-o-blood (pinky finger elegantly extended to clasp the cup) and before I could snap off the head, the little booger whupped around and clamped his jaws right down on the aforementioned extended member. Them tiny needle-sharp fangs sure do pack a wallop! I still managed to dance through "Shall We Gather", but I don't recollect much from the prayer meeting after that. I'm thinking a couple of widows from the Ladies' Auxiliary probably just loaded me in one of their pickup trucks and hauled me home so I could sleep it off.

Well, when I woke up the next morning my pinky was all swole and purple just like a cob of that injun corn Lester grows to sell to the tourists for decorating, and my head felt like it would plum split. But my sole was truley filled with a sense of wonder and joy, for I had done had me a Holy vision during a nite of fitful repose.

Yes! She had appeared to me like in a dream. Her majesty, Lady Thatcher, once again wearing her gold crown and weilding a royal skeptre. And I new right then and their that Jesus was telling me that She was the future of righteous English politics, and that I had to share His vision of Englands' born again glory with you, a informed voter of that country.

So I'm asking you to please peer deep down inside your sole, and vote the way I'm telling you Jesus told me to tell you to vote (he means for Lady Thatcher).

Forever yours in Jesus,
Klyde, Jr.

p.s. He said whatever you do - don't vote for that Camilla woman. She wears those danged ugly hats to cover the horns.

Tim,

The BBC site called it Monmouth."

Not amused — True enough as far as it goes, Ginger... throwing yourself at the feet of the other guy doesn't technically count as "conquered"...

I am part Welsh and I have already voted Labour in support of Tony Blair.

Send me beer, please.

Bravo Klyde! That was Twainian.

Look at the titles of the blog posts that have trackbacked to you Comrade! You think these people are gonna listen to you after you've insulted them?

Props' to your ingenuity Commissar, but convincing Brits to give 'the poodle' a second chance, is like persuading Americans now that Bush's Social Security plan is a keen idea.

http://community.channel4.com /eve/ubb.x/a/tpc/f/1780098481/m/1060054191
You should all write to Sedegfield constituents, to deny the poodle a seat:D
Who cares aboot Wales? Get them to vote Lib Dem.

thatcoloredfella,

Gee. You think it might backfire?

Well, you DO make a good point. Perhaps it might. Maybe I should reconsider.

Sorry, perhaps I wasn’t clear enough. The constituency is indeed called Monmouth. That is the name of the town, which is also the county town (like the capital) of the county, but there are several constituencies within that county, which is not called Monmouth County, but Monmouthshire.

It’s one of those things like Massachussetts calling itself a Commonwealth, not a State, even though it is. Or something. Or is that Virginia?

Am I being picky enough now?

Klyde Jr.!

Ware'd u lern to rite all fancey like that!!!!

(I am SO stealing that comment for White Trash Wednesday!)

CRAP! My trackback didn't work! And I wanted That Tarded Feller to not MY post title too. *sob*