February 05, 2004

Pretentious Twat

Mr. James Joyce, of "Kuro5hin" wrote:

In the past, blogging was an interesting pastime. Now, with the advent of the ridiculously popular weblog package Movable Type, the Web is in risk of drowning under a tidal wave of morons who throttle search engines with writing that has no purpose and such PageRank-destroying features as "TrackBack".

You are all pretentious twats. Every last one of you. You're all latte-sipping, iMac-using, suburban-living tertiary-industry-working WASPs who offer absolutely no new insights on anything whatsoever apart from maybe one specialist field if we're lucky. Most of you think ...

(Read the whole screed at Kuro5hin)

Pretentious twats of the world unite!
Ask the question! What could be more pre10tious than inserting a number among the letters of your site name?

Suburban WASP's unite! You have nothing to lose but your lattes and your iMacs! And your Blogosphere.

All Pretentious Twats may steal, without credit or linkage, our proud logo.

Update: Since LeeAnn broke and duct taped, Velociworld revised, GDay Mate sickened, and LizDitz dissed my Ten Rules post, I wonder what they will make of Mr. Joyce's rant. or what HE will make of this -- a quadruple Trackback.

2nd Update: Da, Comrade Joyce makes excellent point. All of internet, like all of society, should be properly controlled and organized, by "People Who Know Better." Maybe Comrade Joyce would be willing to be First Secretary of MiniWeb? Could organize all URL's into single, unified Dewey Decimal System of Internet. All comrades would be eternally grateful to him.

Kuro5hin is interesting site. Is home of "Forum Weasels," users who need to huddle under protective organization of communal site, rather than run their own blog. They even publicly rate each in other, in oddly familiar "self-criticism" ritual. Hmmm. ... And Comrade Joyce accuses bloggers of Groupthink? What sort of behavior will emerge on communal forum where group rates every member's every utterance?


Posted by Commissar at February 5, 2004 09:35 AM
Confessions

You should design a more vertical-looking one as well. I can't even add that one to my obnoxious sidebar without resizing it into crapdom.

Extracted from: dowingba at February 4, 2004 03:16 PM

Golly, he really told us didn't he? I guess I'll just go back to scribbling in my TrapperKeeper notebook, all the pedantic self-aggrandizing assessments on the world that I had kept secret for so long. Since "we" are not programmers and "we" have nothing intelligent or useful to say in "our" diatribes. I bet he sniffs his own farts.

Extracted from: Thebull at February 4, 2004 03:37 PM

Was he angry at me? I spilled my latte on my new wall to wall carpeting from Home Depot. Then again, I'm too stupid to figure half of what he said out. Ignorance is bliss.

Extracted from: Babs at February 4, 2004 04:09 PM

Our collective evil plot to destroy Google has been unmasked! Blast! MSN will stop funding us if this keeps us. We must keep more secret. Yessss, preciousss.

Extracted from: dowingba at February 4, 2004 04:18 PM

Об твою мать! I don’t even have an iMac! Oh! The humanity…

Extracted from: Daniel Morris at February 4, 2004 05:10 PM

Such anger! Such wenom! Is possible kuro5hin has been out-Googled for interestink search terms one time too often? Is possible kuro5hin vill never be as videly read as any latte-sippink, iMac-usink, suburban-livink tertiary-industry-vorking VASP pretentious tvat? Is possible kuro5hin is needink microscope and tveezers vhen he is standink up to pee?

Extracted from: Natasha Fatale at February 4, 2004 07:31 PM

Now if it only said "mocha" instead of latte...

Decisions, decisions to blog about this and have a gratuitous trackback, or merely to confess that I am pre10tious and leave it at that. I shall go forth and ponder. Expect a trackback later.

Extracted from: Teresa at February 4, 2004 08:22 PM

Either that guy is grumpy because he can never live up to his name, or he needs a high colonic...

Extracted from: Susie at February 4, 2004 10:54 PM

I just had to trackback this post...live up to my pre10tious nature of course.

Extracted from: Serenity at February 4, 2004 11:29 PM

What a dick.

Extracted from: Patterico at February 5, 2004 12:40 AM

I think it's perfect! First, 90% of the blogosphere is crap and now this. I shall add it to my Craptacular Blog -- just as soon as I can resize it to fit. Somewhere.

I didn't get the memo about the iMac though. I'm still a member of the Frustrated Windoze Users.

No matter. I'm sure that makes me even *more* worthy of derision, somehow.

(P.S. I'm "working" so the gratuitous trackback will have to wait until later.)


Extracted from: margi at February 5, 2004 12:49 AM

He was blogging before blogging was cool? Now as he sits in his dark urban squalor, drinking his 7-11 coffee, he is furiously searching Google with his obsolete PC, only to end up on your web log reading a put down about himself. Poor sucker.

Extracted from: Spiralsands at February 5, 2004 08:19 AM

No no no... you guys are all wet! It's perfectly obvious from all of the embedded links: Venemous Kate shot him down when he was cyberstalking her, and this is his way of trying to win her affections.

Sheesh... doesn't anyone recognise the Mating Dance of the forum Weaselwhen they see it? ;]

Extracted from: Ironbear at February 5, 2004 09:07 AM

He makes one good point: Movable Type is terribly inefficient. You should all move to Minx... As soon as I get it working, that is.

Other than that - yes, I think he shows all the signs of a spurned lover. The bitter tirades! The absence of reason! The blotchy skin!

Extracted from: Pixy Misa at February 5, 2004 11:28 AM

Hmmm. I don't own an iMac and because of the way Apple dumped us Apple II users (right after selling us our IIGS's of course) I will NEVER own an Apple again. I don't care how good they are. When I hate, I HATE!

Latte? Puh-leeeze. Diesel oil. I'm a soldier, dammit, not some pissy angst-ridden college student.

I live in the core of a small town, not some yuppyville full of huge houses (all painted some damn earth tone and six inches apart) with no furniture and less character - but an overwhelming need to measure the height of your grass and check for toys on the porch. I've got blue collar to the left of me and blue collar scrubbing white on the right. And behind me I've got construction laborers who make more money than I do - and good on 'em!

Tertiary industry? Well, guilty now. But only after spending decades killing people and breaking things.

I've killed better men than that. Faugh! And my SUV is a pick-up with a well-used bed, pissant.

Ah. Now that felt good. I think I'll go work on designing the future army and then go home and fondle a gun or two. In honor of the Commissar, I'll clean the Berdan, Tokarevs, Mosins, Simonovs, and Kalashnikov. Already did the Makarov a couple of days ago.

Extracted from: John of Argghhh! at February 5, 2004 11:38 AM

Nothing like making a utter asshole out of yourself in front of the whole world.

Extracted from: SCratch Two at February 5, 2004 01:11 PM

All are welcome to come visit Castle Argghhh! and snatch a new version of the Twat graphic that has been modified to "Twit" for those who wish to seize the moral high ground from that dingleberry Joyce and not offend the more genteel of their readers - while still making Comrade Commissar's point!

Extracted from: John of Argghhh! at February 5, 2004 03:58 PM

I'm kinda impressed at the venom people have flung about the K5 article. Bloggers *are* the most pretentious bunch of assholes on the planet. And that's just how I like it, thanks.

Extracted from: Ian S. at February 5, 2004 05:19 PM

Anyway, the morons are now claiming to have only been pretending to be morons, haha, fooled you! Which is of course the last refuge of morons throughout history.

Extracted from: Pixy Misa at February 6, 2004 03:33 AM

How dare you subliterates complain. This guy is a gr8 writer. He's not pre10ding, he really is James Joyce!

Extracted from: Marcel Proust at February 6, 2004 01:08 PM

James dropped by and left a turd on my doorstep too. I feel so honoured. No, not honoured, what's that other word...

Extracted from: Pixy Misa at February 6, 2004 04:21 PM

Of course!

I fully support the Bloggers in this conflict.

Extracted from: The Applicant at April 27, 2004 09:33 PM