January 04, 2004
Tanks for the Memories
The Commissar has been reading up on tanks lately, including this priceless passage from the book Tank by Patrick Wright:
No liberal politican failed the tank test more decisively than Michael Dukakis who [ran against Bush 41] in 1988. Determined to prove that their candidate was not just a soft liberal, the Democratic campaign team took Dukakis to the General Dynamics tank plant in Michigan, stuck a combat helmet on his head and sent him out in front of the cameras in an Abrams M1A1.
The maneuver backfired horribly. Peering out from under his helmet and waving at the cameras as if he were enjoying a fairground ride, Dukakis looked absurd: the bleeding-heart liberal revealed as nodding doll. The image was a gift to George Bush, a true battle-hardened veteran, who promptly announced that Dukakis could not fool American voters or 'the Soviet leadership by knocking American defense for ten years and then riding around in a TANK for ten minutes.'
Bush made mocking reference to the same fiasco in his first public debate with Dukakis ('I wanted to hitchhike a ride home with him in his tank.') and by October 18, the Republican campaign team had incorporated the image into a television advertisement of their own, which would be screened countless times over the course of the campaign. The defining image of the entire election, it showed news footage of Governor Dukakis' disastrous photo-op, while an announcer stressed his alleged weakness on defense: "He even criticized our rescue missin to Grenada and our strike on Libya. And now he wants to be our commander-in-chief. ... America can't afford that risk." And America didn't."
And now ... The Party will nominate Comrade Dean??? His campaign has not been a ten minute fairground ride in tank. It has been months-long, cross-country, mind-blowing trip, reminiscent of Ken Kesey's Electric Kool Aid Acid Test. If Lee Atwater did THAT to Dukakis, what will Rove do to Comrade Dean? Monica Crowley has already started crowleying: "Howard Dean --- soft on al Qaeda."
Even Mrs. Commissar, joining Comrade Ben of yesterday's post, says, "I will not vote for THAT Howard Dean."
What is loyal Commissar to do?? More vodka!!
Posted by Commissar at January 4, 2004 11:35 AM
Comrades,
I too confess that Carl Rove's relentless propaganda efforts at securing the Party nomination for Howard Dean have weakened my Party discipline. I confess that I too have had thoughts that (gulp!?) "Bush doesn't seem so bad?" as I hear more and more about the Party's likely candidate. Rest assured Comrades! I have scheduled a session of Severe Self-Criticism tonight to restore my Party discipline (I hope!).
Comrade Boris
Extracted from: Boris at January 4, 2004 01:44 PMComrade Boris wins "Hero of Soviet Union" medal for "Best Note Ever" on The Politburo Diktat.
Comrade Boris, can I come if I bring more wodka?
Extracted from: Natasha Fatale at January 4, 2004 04:29 PMComrade Boris,
Do not worry, Time magazine will be there to help you do your duty.
Comrades,
I too have entertained doubts about Comrade Howard's lack of military experience. Fortunately, his election is assured! If the proletariat could be convinced they 'elected' King George the Younger, certainly the revolution won't be revolted by the selection of one similarly militarily 'experienced'.
All that is required is tough talk-- and a secret police that surreptitiously abridges the constitution. We're almost there, my fellow revolutionaries: http://www.usdoj.gov/ag/speeches/2003/082503patriotactremarks.htm
O'Brien
Extracted from: O'Brien at January 4, 2004 07:45 PMHo ho! Ve haf even conwinced fellow trawelers that Ashcroft is trashink COnstitution!
Is wery good vork by propaganda ministry -- eh, Dahlink?
Extracted from: Natasha Fatale at January 4, 2004 08:01 PMDa, comrades will rally around Comrade Dean!!
So-called 'Elektion' will be FRAUD!!!
MAKE SIGNS NOW!!
To the Barricades!!
Extracted from: The Commissar at January 4, 2004 09:19 PMDoktor Dean served Comrade Ho's revolution well.
Extracted from: feste at January 14, 2004 05:04 PMHey guys, coming to the party a bit late here, but how do you compare this to George's flight-suit job on the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln?
Magnum,
Da, comrade. KGB source tell Commissar that Bush not only was on carrier, not only had foreknowledge of 9/11, but that HE himself "ordered the hit" that day. You know who was really flying those planes (which were secretly launched from carrier)?
You know who?
Have you seen any recent photos of TWIN daughters? You see, comrade? TWIN daughters, TWIN towers.
It will all come out in campaign.
