Eldercare Update

Here’s my Dad in the nursing home, looking at a book with my sister Ellen. It was a perfect gift that she got for him, his interests being quite narrow: a book of pictures of Provincetown in the early Twentieth Century, when it was a community of Portuguese fishermen, like his family.

dad-ptown.jpg

My Dad’s condition is such that he really has to stay in the nursing home, but he and my Mom and another sister think otherwise. Legally speaking, he is competent, although you wouldn’t say that in any normal, English-language sense of the word. So, if he and other family members agitate for him to go home, I am not sure how to stop it. Also, this has been going on for two months, and struggling to keep him safe (in the nursing home) against the wishes of him and other family members has worn me out.

Comments

  1. canuckistani wrote:

    Are there family members capable of caring for him at his home, or at whatever home he ends up at? Does his/your health insurance cover any kind of home care? Is there a doctor who can declare him incapable of taking care of himself? (granted, this may be too extreme - I don’t know if I could do it to my dad). I really empathize with your concerns, but if he’s legally competent, there’s not much you can do to protect him from himself.

    Posted 03 Dec 2007 at 2:20 pm

  2. Stephen wrote:

    No one at home can take care of him; my Mom probably should be in Assisted Living herself. He can’t walk; can’t really think so well. He needs 24 X 7 care, which Medicaid will not care, nor does his private health insurance.

    The frustrating thing is that the government rules are pretty good — for someone who needs & can’t afford & will accept nursing home care. The spouse keeps their house and half their liquid assets. Then, the State of Connecticut will pick up the tab for his nursing home care for the rest of his life.

    But the cost of a Certified Nurse’s Aid, 24 x 7, in his house, is too expensive for the State to pay for.

    Posted 03 Dec 2007 at 2:45 pm

  3. John Cole wrote:

    What a great picture.

    Posted 04 Dec 2007 at 1:25 pm

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