Breaking: More violence in the Middle East

Middle East Conflict Intensifies As Blah Blah Blah, Etc. Etc. | The Onion - America’s Finest News Source

In the aftermath of a whole series of incidents, there have also been troubling reports of just fill in the blanks. Middle East experts say the still somehow worsening situation has inflamed age-old sectarian tensions between the Sunnis, Shiites, Semites, Kurds, Turks, Saudis, Persians, Wahhabis, radicals, extremists, Baathists, mullahs, clerics, et al, which is likely to lead to more gurgle-gurgle over the coming weeks and months.

And of course …

In an attempt to increase public support of whatever the fuck it is he thinks he’s doing, President Bush trotted out the same old whoop-de-do you’ve heard over and over at a solemn-yet-resolute speech attended by soldiers, or religious leaders, or firemen, or some mix of ethnic-looking people from one of those countries.

“We have to give this plan time to wop bop a loo bop, a wop bam boom, ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang,” President Bush may as well have said. “May God [help/bless/save] the United States of America.”

The Onion - sadly continuing to make more sense than the so-called “real” news.