Popular Science Writing Made Easy

Begin each chapter of your general audience science book thus:

“When I arrived at the airport, I was met by my good friend [Unpronounceable] who teaches [xxxx-ology of choice] at the University of Smorgasbord here in [exotic country — Russia, China, or South Africa are good]. We piled into his [battered transportation device] and proceeded over bumpy roads to [invariably remote campsite] for our [fossil-hunting, trapping, measurement, or sighting] of Megaimportantus obscurus.

Under the [hot Sun/cold Moon] we enjoyed a [cold beer/hot steak] while [small flying or crawling creatures] unique to the region [made comical noises, glowed brightly in the dark, or bit us painfully]. [Laughing, rubbing our eyes, or slapping repeatedly], we nonetheless congratulated ourselves on our happy choice of careers as [xxxx-ologists] rather than the poor cubicle-bound drones who are reading this.”

Quickly transition with:

“Everyone knows what DNA is, but what we still have to determine is the role of evolving master regulatory phosphofructokinase in the production of RNA polymerase factors during the the fifth larval meoisis stage of the related endemic Microneglibilis deuterostomis.”

Then add another level of complexity or uncertainty to that first paragraph, for example …

“And not just its role in this stage of [Lophotrochozoan] development, but also its [vital, surprising, or redundant] role in [process-osis] of [heretofore unmentioned plant/animal].”

The reader might overdose on science jargon here. To break things up, throw in a Shakespeare quote.

When Hamlet said, “the funeral baked meats did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables,” so he may have described [master regulatory phosphofructokinase] in its relation to Microneglibilis deuterostomis.

At this point, you’ve got the reader wholly buffaloed. More technical detail and random Latin names can follow for several pages. Then conclude the chapter with:

“Clearly showing that [something, … oxygen levels, for example] [rose/fell] [incredibly long time ago/incredibly far away] because of a barely measurable and hard-to-understand [increase/decrease] in the rate of change [always throw in some ‘difference in the rate of change’] of [process or activity] related to Megaimportantus obscurus.”

Repeat, for about 15 chapters.

Trackbacks & Pings

  1. The Politburo Diktat » Blog Archive » Banded Iron Formations (BIFs) on 19 May 2006 at 4:27 pm

    […] Banded Iron Formations (BIFs) really are as loud and eloquent as they are beautiful. They mark an ancient world with an atmosphere nearly devoid of oxygen. (It may be time for me and my friend Unpronounceable to go for a bumpy ride in his battered Yugo.) And BIFs mark the earliest green life - photosynthesis. […]

Comments

  1. JD wrote:

    That’s hilarious. I’m gonna have to send this one around to my science-type friends. Actually, YOU should charge scientists–especially PhD candidates and post-docs trying to get published–for that template.