Capitalist Stupidity

Business 2.0: 2005’s 101 Dumbest Moments in Business

7. C’mon, it’s called Black Apron. Isn’t that enough?

“The message conveyed how proud we are of this new coffee, but did not address our deep sadness and concern for the tremendous loss of life and devastation in the recent natural disaster in Southeast Asia.”

– From an e-mail sent to Starbucks customers in January, apologizing for a previous e-mail that touted its new Black Apron Exclusives Aged Sumatra Lot 523 coffee, released days after a tsunami killed tens of thousands on the Indonesian island.

16. It descends from the military-industrial complex. Not so ironically it unleashes grave embarrassment.

“We consider the ad offensive, regret its publication, and apologize to those who, like us, are dismayed with its contents.” – Mary Foerster, spokeswoman for Boeing Integrated Defense Systems, about an ad in the Sept. 24 issue of National Journal that depicts the CV-22 Osprey in an assault on a mosque accompanied by copy that reads, “It descends from the heavens. Ironically it unleashes hell.”

34. Bummer. But we’re still going ahead with the “Schindler’s Shopping List” campaign, right?

Fighting a proposal that would limit superstores in Flagstaff, Ariz., Wal-Mart signs off on an ad in the Arizona Daily Sun that asks, “Should we let government tell us what we can read? Of course not … So why should we allow local government to limit where we shop?” The ad is illustrated with a vintage photo of Nazi supporters throwing books into a bonfire. Wal-Mart later apologizes, saying it had not appreciated the photo’s “historical context.”

40. Just google him. We hear it really ticks him off.

“F***ing Eric Schmidt is a f***ing pussy. I’m going to f***ing bury that guy, I have done it before and I will do it again. I’m going to f***ing kill Google.” – Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer, in response to the departure of Mark Lucovsky, a former Microsoft “distinguished engineer” who left last year to work at Google. The alleged aria, punctuated by the tossing of a chair, was cited in a sworn statement by Lucovsky that became public during court hearings over another Microsoft-to-Google defection in September. Microsoft denies Lucovsky’s version of the incident.

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