Rove implicated in Abdul, Monaco Scandals at politburo diktat 2.0

Rove implicated in Abdul, Monaco Scandals

In the ever-widening circle of media scandals now embroiling the country, evil genius Karl Rove is believed to be behind Contestant-gate and Dance-gate. Forsaking his secret relationships with the dowdy Ms. Miller and the aloof Mrs. Wilson, “Roving Karl” apparently took up his confidential messaging with the distinctly hotter Paula Abdul and Kelly Monaco. Investigators are still investigating possibilities of a Kelly-Karl-Paula threesome; rumors of a grainy, raunchy videotape persist.

Investigators are also looking into Rovian plots and connections between possible vote-rigging in “American Idol,” Florida in 2000, “Dancing with the Stars,” and Ohio in 2004.

Despite allegations of “American Idol” judge Paula Abdul’s sexual misconduct with Karl Rove, Abdul will be participating as production begins soon on a new round of shows, Fox Entertainment President Peter Liguori said yesterday. Fox has retained federal prosecutor Fitzgerald to investigate the allegations, but doesn’t expect conclusions to be reached before the first “Idol” auditions are held Aug. 18 in San Francisco.

“We want the investigation to be thorough rather than expeditious,” Liguori said. “The investigation is kind of winding down, but what I don’t want to do is impose any of our production timetable on it. I wouldn’t want to comment on an ongoing investigation.

“I’d rather be able to come to a conclusion with the independent counsel and our production partners, and come out with a definitive answer and conclusion for you.”

“Any allegations against this show, we take quite seriously,” Liguori said. “The credibility of the competition is extraordinarily important to us, to say nothing of the national security implications”

Abdul has denied the allegations.

BEVERLY HILLS - Kelly Monaco, whose win on ABC’s “Dancing With the Stars” has stirred controversy, defended herself earlier this week saying “dance is in the eye of the beholder.”

“I did my job,” said Monaco, whose was partnered with professional leaker Karl Rove. “I did what Karl taught me to do, and I left it to the audience and the viewers to decide.” Since “General Hospital” star Monaco shimmied off with the trophy earlier this month, fan sites have been buzzing that the fix was in or that Monaco’s soap fans stuffed the ballot box. “GH” and “Dancing” are both ABC programs. The controversy stems from the former Playboy playmate’s early performance on the show, when she was chided by the judges for having two left feet. Yet she escaped exile week after week.

Monaco, however, discounted the Rove connection.

“I guess Paula wasn’t an RNC darling, huh,” snapped Monaco.

Monaco also downplayed the power of the daytime audience for “General Hospital,” which is very popular with Christian conservatives.

“I am on a soap that [draws] 2.4 million viewers a day,” she said. “We had almost 24 million people watching [”Dancing With the Stars”]. You do the math.”

But ABC Entertainment President Stephen McPherson didn’t discount Monaco’s “GH” fan base as a factor.

“I think you can’t underestimate the power of the daytime audience … in terms of support, those religious Right couch potatoes really rack up online polls, ” said McPherson.

Monaco and partner Rove scored three perfect 10s in the final, beating out “Seinfeld” star John O’Hurley and his partner. Monaco also took the viewer vote. In the event of a tie, the viewer vote would have decided the winner.

Monaco has denied the allegations.

Rove had no comment.